Hello, faithful readers! So: I'm not going to be posting about my crazy trip through Jordan that I took the last two weeks. Wait! Before you inundate me with emails and messages expressing outrage and dismay (can you sense the sarcasm here?), lemme 'splain.
I'm writing for the Jordan Tourism Board North America about the trip. Thus, I have been trying to edit out my more personal comments. Thus, it makes for some un-Hali-esque prose. Not bad, just not... me. I've also recently gotten some feedback from my writing group that what they like about my blog isn't the 'here's a list of where I've been' - it's been my personal experiences. Bizarre, right? I had a feeling that I was being too impersonal, but apparently it took them telling me for it to really click. Thus, I will continue my chronicles throughout Jordan on the JTBNA blog (which I will provide a link to because you really should read it - it's awesome), while continuing my personal journey through Jordan on here.
Now you know (and knowledge is power!). So, on to other news: I don't want to go home. I don't mean that in the 'I want to stay here forever!' kind of way. That's not the case. I mean, I adore it here and could see spending more time here (particularly to hang more with my family), but I mean more in the sense that I'm ready for more adventures. I don't want to go home and hang up my hat and hope for another trip sometime in the future. I want to go NOW. Thus, my dilemma. I have to return to the States for some loose ends that need to be tied up (no big deal, just a house that needs to be put on the market - cue maniacal laughter), but I'm feeling very ready to see the rest of the world. Well, not all of it, that would be a little impossible for one trip - but a good chunk. Honestly, I'm thinking that circumnavigation of the globe would be pretty sweet.
I'm not really sure why I have a drive to travel so badly right now. I have always loved traveling, but I've also had my reservations about traveling alone in the past. Safety always seemed like an issue, not to mention that I wouldn't have anyone to rely on or any clue as to where to go. But as I've gotten older (particularly at this stage in my life), I realize that that's just my insecurities. I have the ability to go anywhere and do what I like (to a certain extent), I don't need to rely on anyone else to help me. Why not go alone?
At this point, I'm not even really sure who I am any more. There was who I was in my previous relationship: about to be married, learning to climb, skiing, cooking every night, working on the house, messing around on the internet too much, being a step-mom and essentially, a wife. There's who I was in school: a bit of a know-it-all, diving into certain types of research, taking on new responsibilities because they were available, doing well in my classes without any huge effort. Who I was at work: rules minded, OCD, responsible. Family and friends I won't even get into. But I'm not really sure who I am as an individual. The last time I was truly alone, without influences, was at University of Puget Sound my first year of college. That time didn't work out so well, I went back to Crested Butte after a year. I have never been truly alone - and while I would never move anywhere where I didn't have a connection, even if just a friend or relative, I want some time to figure myself out. One of the major positives of taking a long trip around the world: I'll definitely figure out who I am... probably pretty quickly. I read a great article last night that inspired me even more than I was already, due to the complete practicality of the reasons they explain. I have no idea where I want to be or what I want to do with my life (going from about to be married with a house to single without even a town to call home is kind of a readjustment), I'm hoping that maybe this will give me an idea. I'm also a little concerned about clinging to the first thing that seems like a good option (*cough*Houston*cough*), which may end up being the best thing for me... but I won't know unless I explore my options first. As my gorgeous amazing well traveled cousin pointed out to me last night, if I don't go now, I might never go. It gets a lot harder when you have a job/relationship/place you actually care about...
I won't belabor the point any more without knowing what I'm actually doing. Just be aware that this is what's going on in the back of my mind at the moment - hopefully I can make it happen.
On another note, I went climbing for the first time yesterday at the climbing gym here (Climbat). It was a decent gym for someone spoiled by outdoor climbing/the gym in Boulder (Movement I think...?). I'm definitely sore today, I haven't been climbing since the last time I went with my ex. It was weird, I got super emotional when I was getting back in the car, I've never been climbing-tired with anyone else besides my former fiance. It might seem stupid, but I got pretty teary eyed just thinking of what I would have said to him when we got in the car together. The days of "Bear and Kitten" are gone... which I'm usually okay with. It had its run and it's over. But for some reason the climbing really got to me. Well, as Jad said, I need to have new positive experiences doing the things I love now.
Today I went back to the Royal Stables to meet with the Princess Alia Foundation. They're such incredible people, I leapt at the opportunity to return and check out the new babies that have been born in the last few days (Five new foals! The cuteness was overwhelming!!!). The visit was pretty quick, but I'm hoping to do some work with them while I'm here, since I don't want to just laze around and blog (cue more maniacal laughter).
Okay. Here's my closing thought/video. Sorry there's no actual video, it was the best quality recording I could find.
Cheers!
Oh! And to those of you who have no idea what the title of my blog post means, it stands for 'you only live once.'
I'm writing for the Jordan Tourism Board North America about the trip. Thus, I have been trying to edit out my more personal comments. Thus, it makes for some un-Hali-esque prose. Not bad, just not... me. I've also recently gotten some feedback from my writing group that what they like about my blog isn't the 'here's a list of where I've been' - it's been my personal experiences. Bizarre, right? I had a feeling that I was being too impersonal, but apparently it took them telling me for it to really click. Thus, I will continue my chronicles throughout Jordan on the JTBNA blog (which I will provide a link to because you really should read it - it's awesome), while continuing my personal journey through Jordan on here.
Now you know (and knowledge is power!). So, on to other news: I don't want to go home. I don't mean that in the 'I want to stay here forever!' kind of way. That's not the case. I mean, I adore it here and could see spending more time here (particularly to hang more with my family), but I mean more in the sense that I'm ready for more adventures. I don't want to go home and hang up my hat and hope for another trip sometime in the future. I want to go NOW. Thus, my dilemma. I have to return to the States for some loose ends that need to be tied up (no big deal, just a house that needs to be put on the market - cue maniacal laughter), but I'm feeling very ready to see the rest of the world. Well, not all of it, that would be a little impossible for one trip - but a good chunk. Honestly, I'm thinking that circumnavigation of the globe would be pretty sweet.
I'm not really sure why I have a drive to travel so badly right now. I have always loved traveling, but I've also had my reservations about traveling alone in the past. Safety always seemed like an issue, not to mention that I wouldn't have anyone to rely on or any clue as to where to go. But as I've gotten older (particularly at this stage in my life), I realize that that's just my insecurities. I have the ability to go anywhere and do what I like (to a certain extent), I don't need to rely on anyone else to help me. Why not go alone?
At this point, I'm not even really sure who I am any more. There was who I was in my previous relationship: about to be married, learning to climb, skiing, cooking every night, working on the house, messing around on the internet too much, being a step-mom and essentially, a wife. There's who I was in school: a bit of a know-it-all, diving into certain types of research, taking on new responsibilities because they were available, doing well in my classes without any huge effort. Who I was at work: rules minded, OCD, responsible. Family and friends I won't even get into. But I'm not really sure who I am as an individual. The last time I was truly alone, without influences, was at University of Puget Sound my first year of college. That time didn't work out so well, I went back to Crested Butte after a year. I have never been truly alone - and while I would never move anywhere where I didn't have a connection, even if just a friend or relative, I want some time to figure myself out. One of the major positives of taking a long trip around the world: I'll definitely figure out who I am... probably pretty quickly. I read a great article last night that inspired me even more than I was already, due to the complete practicality of the reasons they explain. I have no idea where I want to be or what I want to do with my life (going from about to be married with a house to single without even a town to call home is kind of a readjustment), I'm hoping that maybe this will give me an idea. I'm also a little concerned about clinging to the first thing that seems like a good option (*cough*Houston*cough*), which may end up being the best thing for me... but I won't know unless I explore my options first. As my gorgeous amazing well traveled cousin pointed out to me last night, if I don't go now, I might never go. It gets a lot harder when you have a job/relationship/place you actually care about...
I won't belabor the point any more without knowing what I'm actually doing. Just be aware that this is what's going on in the back of my mind at the moment - hopefully I can make it happen.
On another note, I went climbing for the first time yesterday at the climbing gym here (Climbat). It was a decent gym for someone spoiled by outdoor climbing/the gym in Boulder (Movement I think...?). I'm definitely sore today, I haven't been climbing since the last time I went with my ex. It was weird, I got super emotional when I was getting back in the car, I've never been climbing-tired with anyone else besides my former fiance. It might seem stupid, but I got pretty teary eyed just thinking of what I would have said to him when we got in the car together. The days of "Bear and Kitten" are gone... which I'm usually okay with. It had its run and it's over. But for some reason the climbing really got to me. Well, as Jad said, I need to have new positive experiences doing the things I love now.
Today I went back to the Royal Stables to meet with the Princess Alia Foundation. They're such incredible people, I leapt at the opportunity to return and check out the new babies that have been born in the last few days (Five new foals! The cuteness was overwhelming!!!). The visit was pretty quick, but I'm hoping to do some work with them while I'm here, since I don't want to just laze around and blog (cue more maniacal laughter).
Okay. Here's my closing thought/video. Sorry there's no actual video, it was the best quality recording I could find.
Cheers!
Oh! And to those of you who have no idea what the title of my blog post means, it stands for 'you only live once.'
This is the real Hali. Thank you for sharing where you are "at".
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